


Of Motorcycles and Men

by EnglishPoet18



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: M/M, m/m slash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-09
Updated: 2015-08-09
Packaged: 2018-03-17 03:55:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3514442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnglishPoet18/pseuds/EnglishPoet18
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He couldn't remember the last time he had relaxed. Maybe at the prison? That was about as close as he could remember to being relaxed and even then he was still guarded and cautious. Always cautious. He remembered the other night when he had been over here having dinner with Eric and Aaron. He had been more relaxed then than any other night that he could remember in a long time. That had surprised him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Big thanks to Lucy and Mac for spiraling with me.

...

"Are you sure you know what you're doing?"

Daryl sighed and slowed his pace, crossbow swinging against his back as he turned to face Carol. "No, I'm not. I'm just playin' along like everyone else. Ain't that what Rick said?" His voice came out grumpier than intended and he immediately felt bad for it. It wasn't Carol's fault that he was in a bad mood lately. It was nobody's fault but his own.

Carol didn't seem upset by his tone though she did look away from him. "You're right," she replied. "We need to try and fit in, but I just don't want you to get sucked in like everyone else seems to be doing." Her expression changed to one of concern.

Daryl almost brushed his hand over her arm, but he stopped himself. It wasn't that he didn't want to touch Carol, he just didn't want anyone getting the wrong idea. He loved Carol as much as someone could love another person, but he wasn't in love with her. He wanted to be, but it wasn't something that could be forced and it wouldn't be fair to either of them if he did. It didn't mean that he didn't care deeply for her though and the last thing he would ever do would be to hurt her.

"Out of all the people in this Godforsaken place, I'm pretty sure these two are the most harmless. I can handle myself and it gives me somethin' to do besides sitting on that damn porch all day."

Carol smiled and lightly touched his arm. He let her do it, one of the few people that he allowed that right. She released a long drawn out breath and nodded before dropping her hand back down to her side.

"You're right. You need something to do of course. It's the perfect job for you." She frowned as she said the last words and he watched her stare off into the distance, her brain working overtime.

"You gonna be alright? I can stay here with you a while if you need me..."

She immediately shook her head no and began walking back the way they had come, smiling at him. "No, I'm fine. I've got some cookies to bake and I need to see about getting some more chocolate if I can. Go on and try to relax a little," she urged.

He snorted. "Alright, then."

He reached his destination a lot quicker than expected and climbed the porch steps a little hesitantly. He paused at the top and began to second guess his decision.

"Relax...right," he muttered under his breath repeating Carol's words. He couldn't remember the last time he had relaxed. Maybe at the prison? That was about as close as he could remember to being relaxed and even then he was still guarded and cautious. Always cautious. He remembered the other night when he had been over here having dinner with Eric and Aaron. He had been more relaxed then than any other night that he could remember in a long time. That had surprised him. Eric and Aaron had surprised him.

Raising his hand to knock, he raised a brow in surprise when the door was opened and Eric stood there blinking back at him. Daryl realized his hand was hanging mid-air and he slowly withdrew it, running his fingers through his beard.

"Uh..." Daryl stood there awkwardly.

Eric simply waited for a minute until figuring out that Daryl wasn't going to say much more than the one little word he had uttered. He turned to call over his shoulder, "Aaron! We've got company."

Minutes later Aaron appeared over Eric's shoulder, pulling the door open widely as he stared at Daryl. A slow smile spread over his face. "You came," he stated.

Daryl nodded once and shifted his feet, wondering if they were going to let him inside or if they were just going to stand on the porch all day. Eric glanced between them with raised brows and then stepped out onto the porch, hobbling just a bit on his weak ankle. Daryl instinctively made a grab for him at the same time that Aaron did, but Eric brushed both of their offers of help off.

"I'm okay. I've got to get used to it. I can't stay in the house forever Aaron," he said.

Aaron nodded, a smile upon his face as he leaned in the doorway and crossed his arms. "Yes, I know. We've already had this conversation once this morning."

Eric laughed, "Yes, well, a little refresher never hurt anyone. I know how you are sometimes. I'll be back in a bit." Daryl watched as Eric placed a kiss to Aaron's cheek and nodded at him. "Good to see you again, Daryl."

Daryl watched him maneuver the porch steps and frowned as the man wobbled on each step. He moved to help or at the very least get closer in case the guy fell, but a hand on his shoulder stopped his movements.

"Don't do it. He's liable to try and take your hand off for offering to help." Aaron's voice whispered near his ear.

Daryl snorted softly, "Yeah, okay." He glanced at Eric again, sizing the little guy up and thinking it wouldn't take much to take him out.

To his surprise, Aaron chuckled softly. "You're right." He sighed resolutely. "He's not that strong. It's a constant worry of mine that he's going to get himself seriously hurt at some point."

Daryl nodded. He could see that about Eric, but then again he could see that about a lot of the people in this community. Except Aaron. He was still figuring him out, but he didn't get a bad vibe from him. He just couldn't get a good read on the guy. Or maybe it was just because he naturally didn't trust anyone to begin with.

"So, ready to get started on the bike?"

"Yeah. Let's do it," Daryl replied.

...

Daryl couldn't remember the last time he had found himself working on a bike or any machine for that matter. It had been entirely too long and it all felt surreal to be inside of a garage while doing it. And having electricity on top of that. He still couldn't quite get used to that. It worried him a little how quickly he was adapting to it, but instead of questioning it further he ignored it and continued to work.

"You gonna stand there and watch me all day?"

Aaron blinked in surprise and then slowly strolled inside of the garage. "I didn't want to interrupt. You knew I was here the whole time?"

Daryl snorted, "Could hear you breathin' a mile away."

Aaron smiled and walked around the bike to crouch down near Daryl's outstretched legs. There were several moments of quiet and Daryl was thankful that he wasn't bombarding him with questions. However, the silence was beginning to get to him so he pondered for something to fill it with.

"There's somethin' so calming about workin' on bikes," Daryl said.

"Yeah, if you know what you're doing...which you so clearly do," Aaron stated. "I had a feeling you would."

Daryl paused in the process of turning a wrench and glanced over at him. "Why's that?"

He shrugged, "You seem like the type."

"Hmph. What type is that? Dumb redneck?" He could feel his defenses rising and he was struggling to hold back biting words.

"You're putting words in my mouth now and that's not what I meant. It's just that I watched you with your group on the road there for a while. You're good with your hands." Aaron's face flushed red and he stood up quickly while clearing his throat. "You hungry?"

Daryl was still contemplating his words and he shrugged. "I could eat." He paused, "As long as it ain't any beans. Had enough of those to last me a lifetime."

"It's not beans. I promise. I'll be right back."

Daryl watched him leave the room, feeling a weird sort of sensation in his stomach that he was pretty sure wasn't from hunger. Strangely it almost felt as though he was spending the afternoon hanging out with with a friend while shooting the shit. As much as his senses told him that he should proceed with caution, he just couldn't seem to back away from it. The bike called to him on so many levels. It called to him, memories from his former life mixed with an overwhelming taste of freedom. If he had the bike and could get back onto the open road traveling on his own, then maybe he could pull himself out of this funk he seemed to have settled into. As the sounds drifted through the open doorway, Daryl tried to keep his thoughts focused on the bike and not on the man currently in the kitchen fixing him some lunch.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the positive response. Sorry this one took a bit to get back to, but it's been hard to write lately even though I know what I want to write.

...

"Mind if I watch? I brought cookies."

Daryl lifted his head out from between the motor and the front wheel of the bike. He snorted at the gesture of cookies. "Bribing me now?"

Aaron smiled and tossed the pack of stale cookies at Daryl so that it smacked against his chest. "Maybe. Is it working?"

Daryl shrugged as he used his teeth to tear open the packet, highly aware of the fact that Aaron was watching him. He took a bite of the cookie and although it tasted like a rendition of cardboard - it was better than nothing. "I guess. No one's ever brought me cookies before."

"Never?" Aaron's expression was horrified. "God, you poor soul."

The laugh that came barreling free of Daryl's chest surprised them both. "Ain't like I never  _had_ cookies. Pretty sure I tasted them once." He slid back down to the floor to hide his smile.

"Are you serious right now?"

Daryl laughed silently and Aaron swatted at his chest as he saw it move. "That's horrible. I thought you were serious."

"An' if I was?"

"Then I guess I was going to be finding a shit ton of cookies for you to eat," Aaron supplied. "Everyone should have cookies."

Eyebrows arching, Daryl rose up on his elbows only to find Aaron giving him a teasing smile. He had been worried there for a minute. He didn't want anyone feeling bad for him. Granted, he hadn't had the best life, but it wasn't the worst one either and overall he was happy with how he had turned out. He shook his head at himself as he realized he had just been sitting there discussing cookies with someone.

"Pft. Stop," Daryl grumbled, but his voice held no trace of menace that he was known for. "Don't need no one feeling sorry for me."

Aaron's expression sobered immediately, "Of course not. I wasn't...I mean. I'm just trying to get to know you and I'm really bad at it."

Daryl studied him cautiously, "Why?"

"Why?"

"Yeah. Why get to know me? Why you care so much?" He couldn't help the suspicion from seeping into his voice, but he wanted to know why. What difference did it make to get to know someone when they were likely to die any time?

"It's called compassion for others. The world around us may be dying, but that doesn't mean that everything in it has to. You just look like you could use a friend. Is that a crime?"

Well hell, when the guy put it like that...Daryl breathed in deeply and thought about his words. "Guess not. You just surprise me is all. I keep tryin' to figure you out, but I can't."

Aaron smiled, "Ditto."

...

It wasn't unusual for Aaron's mind to be a constant whir of activity when he tried to sleep at night, but as he lay next to Eric's sleeping form that same night his mind was only on one thing: Daryl Dixon. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't seem to shake thoughts of the other man. It confused him because up until now he had thought himself in love with Eric. Well...as much in love as one could be when your options were so severely limited by the lack of gay men left in the world.

He loved Eric more than anyone else in this world, but lately he had been missing something. The spark that he had always craved just wasn't there anymore. They hadn't even made love in weeks and that in itself was unusual. They had chalked it up to Eric being sick and then being busy with recruiting the others, but deep down Aaron knew that wasn't it. The chemistry just wasn't there like before.

When he had thought he had lost Eric it had devastated him. For so long it had just been the two of them and the thought of losing Eric had left a bad taste in his mouth. It was the fear of losing the one person he had left in this world that had seized him with a desperation that couldn't be ignored. When they had kissed it had reminded him of all they had been through together and for a moment things had seemed just like old times.

But then there was Daryl Dixon and damn if he didn't ignite something stronger in the pit of Aaron's stomach. All gruff on the exterior, Daryl had seemed unapproachable, but the more Aaron got to know him the more he uncovered. For instance, he wasn't nearly as gruff as the image that he projected. He was also an excellent judge of character...something that Aaron really admired. Underneath his rough layers, there was a man of honor.

He knew he was treading on dangerous ground by being around Daryl so much while he was working on the bike, but he couldn't seem to help himself. He closed his eyes and saw him working on the bike. His shirt was soaked with sweat, sticking to his skin when he moved. Grease coated his fingers and streaked down one arm while he had been working.

Aaron squeezed his eyes shut tight, but the images kept coming all while Eric still snored lightly next to him. His cock was hard and seeking relief, but he didn't dare try to jerk off in bed. The last thing he wanted was to wake up Eric and have him ask questions.

In his mind he saw Daryl lift up the hem of his shirt and wipe at something on his face. The action revealed smooth skin underneath that Aaron wanted to run his tongue over and he bit down on it as he continued his fantasy.

_"Somethin' you wanna tell me?"_

_Aaron licked his lips as he regarded the way that Daryl walked towards him, his eyes intensely focused on him. It was unnerving to say the least._

_"No. Why do you ask?" He surreptitiously took a step backward._

_"You been in here every day watchin' me...I can tell there's somethin' on your mind. I've been waiting on you to bring it up, but you never do."_

_Was he that transparent? Aaron swallowed nervously. He wasn't ready to tell Daryl that he got hard just thinking about him. "I think that maybe I need to leave," he suggested._

_"No, what you need is something to shut you up," Daryl countered._

_Aaron's head jerked up sharply at Daryl's words. "What are you saying?"_

_His throat ran dry as Daryl reached behind him to tug his shirt up and over his head revealing a broad muscled chest that Aaron wanted to put his mouth all over. His pulse began to pound within as his heart skipped a beat. Daryl sauntered over to him slowly, backing him into a corner so that he had nowhere else to go._

_"This **is** going to happen, Aaron."_

_"Daryl-"_

_Quicker than he would have thought possible, Daryl pressed himself against him, one hand planted firmly over his mouth to stop his protests. He leaned in close, his mouth hovering near Aaron's chin._

_"Tell me you want me." Daryl slowly removed his hand._

_"Yes. I want you so fucking bad," Aaron whispered._

_And then Daryl smiled and Aaron was done for. Anything that he asked Aaron would more than gladly give. He hadn't been this turned on in longer than he cared to remember. Just one look and a few whispered words were making him want to toss everything out of the window and let this strange man pound him into oblivion._

_Daryl dipped his head and ran the tip of his tongue along Aaron's collarbone, tracing the skin. Aaron's head fell backwards as a whimper escaped his mouth. His hand palmed the crotch of Aaron's jeans, cupping him snugly and causing his cock to spring closer to the seams._

_"Is this what you wanted? This what you been waitin' on?" Daryl's rough voice washed over him._

_"Yes, God yes...please. Fuck me. I need it." He doubted that he could wait a moment longer. He needed to feel Daryl inside of him and that was unusual in itself considering he always topped Eric. But not with Daryl...with Daryl he needed to be on the bottom so that he could feel. He wanted to feel everything and he doubted that Daryl would ever bottom for him anyway._

_"You're so fucking hard for me," Daryl observed as his fingers began to work the buttons of Aaron's jeans._

_Aaron held his breath as Daryl unzipped his jeans and he arched his hips, ready for Daryl to take him -_

"Aaron?"

His eyes flew open and he turned his head to find Eric staring at him sleepily. He shifted beneath the blanket so that his erection wouldn't be prominent and wondered why Eric was awake at this time of the night when he was usually sound asleep.

"Yeah?"

"You okay? You were making noises."

No...he wasn't okay. He had been fantasizing about someone...someone that wasn't Eric. What was wrong with him? He had a perfectly good man laying right there next to him yet he was thinking about someone else. He felt awful.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Go back to sleep," Aaron assured him, but Eric was already halfway there before he could even finish his sentence. With a deep sigh, Aaron rolled over in the bed, fantasy over. He had lied to Eric. He wasn't fine...not at all.

...


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the long wait and for the short chapter. I'm trying to take things slow and I had wanted to wait until last night's episode hoping I would get more of a glimpse of Aaron so that I could feel out his character more, but I really didn't see that much of him. I guess I'm going to have to do a little improvising and hope that it turns out okay. Hopefully the next chapter shouldn't take as long, but no promises. Thanks for reading!

...

"That should do it," Daryl commented. He stood up and brushed his hands across the front of his jeans.

"That's it?" Eric asked incredulously.

"We're about to find out." Daryl straddled the bike and turned the key while pressing the gas. The bike turned over once before firing up, the engine purring loudly. Daryl couldn't stop the grin that broke out over his face and when he glanced over, Aaron and Eric were wearing matching expressions. Aaron's gaze locked with his for a single instant before looking away. He let the engine idle for several minutes before switching the bike off, his excitement mounting higher by the minute.

The bike signified a lot of things for Daryl. It meant freedom...no more being confined to whatever car that they could find. This was familiar to him, a reminder of his brother and days long gone. This was the place he felt most at home, the raw power rumbling against his thighs. In lots of ways the bike  _was_  home to him and he ached to get it out on the road.

The silence was loud once more without the growl of the bike and Daryl stayed seated on it a little longer. Eric elbowed Aaron with a grin, "You were right. he is good." Aaron's face grew red as he nodded.

"So I'm thinkin' it's time to take this baby out on the road and see what she can do," Daryl commented.

"Do you think you're ready for a mission so soon?" Aaron asked.

"Of course he's ready! Look at him," Eric interrupted as he gestured to Daryl. Daryl opened his mouth to speak, but he was again cut off, this time by Aaron.

"It just seems soon. They've barely been here a week. You know as well as I so that recruiting can take days or even weeks," Aaron emphasized.

"And  _you_ also know that the sooner, the better. The more people we recruit, the stronger we are." Eric rubbed his forehead in mild agitation.

Aaron sighed, "We haven't even had time to show him the routine."

Daryl eyed the two of them with raised brows. he wasn't exactly sure if they were even aware of him being there anymore.

"What about it, Aaron? Baby, there's not much to the routine. What's the problem here? Is something going on with you that you're not telling me?"

"No! It's just -" Aaron growled under his breath. "I'm fine. Hey, Daryl...wait!"

Daryl paused at the edge of the garage, escape lurking just within reach. The last thing he wanted to do was to be caught in the middle of some lover's quarrel. He was just ready to get out on the open road.

"If the two of you need some time to uh...do...whatever it is that need to do then it's cool. I can wait for a few because I need to go talk to Rick a minute anyway, but either way I'm goin' - with or without you," Daryl said.

Aaron placed his hands on his hips, his face deep in thought. "Alright then, let's do it."

"He'll meet you out there in ten minutes, Daryl." Eric placed one hand upon his lover's shoulder, but Aaron was still looking at Daryl.

"Yeah, okay. Sounds good," Daryl replied. He stepped through the doorway, glancing over his shoulder once. Aaron was smiling softly at Eric who was speaking to him in a low voice. Daryl shook his head as he continued on. That bike ride was looking better and better.

...

"You sure about this? It's kind of sudden."

Daryl shrugged. To him it couldn't have come soon enough. "These things can take a while so the sooner we leave, the better."

Rick nodded, but his expression told Daryl that he still wasn't convinced. "I just don't like the group being split like this. Being here is great and all, but I feel like it's pulling us all apart. Stupid?"

Daryl snugged the strap of his crossbow and slid it onto his back as he thought about it. "Nah, it's not stupid. I get what you mean, but we gotta start somewhere, right? It don't seem too bad here right now."

Rick nodded along, his eyes scanning the area around them before returning to Daryl. "It just seems too good here is all...It's hard to explain, but just keep your eyes and ears open if you know what I mean."

"Yeah, always. Listen, I better head out. Told Aaron I'd meet him at the gate," Daryl said.

Rick touched his arm as he turned to leave, "You okay with this? Going out with him I mean?"

Daryl snorted at the fact that Rick was insinuating that he might be afraid or something. He took a moment to really study his best friend and leader. Rick did seem a little preoccupied, but then again when was he not? He chalked it up to being in a strange place with people that they still weren't really sure they could trust or not. Daryl began to question whether leaving was really a good idea or not.

"I can stay," Daryl said suddenly, "I don't have to go out there if you need me here." He would stay if Rick thought it necessary, but Daryl was hoping that he wouldn't because he was really looking forward to taking that bike outside the fences.

"No. We should be fine. I'll just keep my eyes open for anything suspicious."

"I wouldn't expect anything less," Daryl replied as he clapped his friend on the shoulder.

...

"God, I'm starving. How do you go so long without eating?" Aaron asked as he shoved a cracker into his mouth.

Daryl leaned against the hood of the car that Aaron was driving and shrugged. "Dunno. Not used to having a steady supply of food. Just got used to goin' without I guess."

"That makes sense. I should try to portion better. I've gotten so used to the way things are in Alexandria that sometimes I forget what the world is really like out here."

It amazed Daryl that anyone could forget what the world was really like. The people in Alexandria were sheltered and a lot hadn't really faced the horrors of the world as it was.

"You've gone soft," Daryl said as he sipped at his water to wash down the stale crackers.

"I suppose you're right," Aaron agreed. He eyed Daryl, his gaze drifting over his leather jacket down to his black jeans and back again. "You look pretty fit despite the lack of good nutrition you must have had," he mused.

It surprised Daryl that he wasn't bothered by Aaron's assessment of him. It wasn't something he was used to, but he actually felt comfortable around him. Aaron was the first gay person he had ever known firsthand. He didn't have anything against gay people, but he figured them to be different than Aaron. He supposed that was due to Merle always talking shit about their type and he had no doubt that were his brother still alive today, that he would be giving Daryl shit for even talking to Aaron.

"Daryl?"

Daryl jerked his head up as he realized that Aaron had been waiting for some sort of response while he had been lost in thought. "We done with storytime now? Got a lot of ground to cover," Daryl groused.

"Yeah, of course. We still taking this highway South?"

They had marked out a path on the map that Aaron and Eric had already been using. Several areas were highlighted along with notes of where others had been spotted and which places were overrun with walkers. They were very organized which helped them out a lot in the long run.

"That's the plan. Keep your eyes peeled for any activity."

"Absolutely. Though I doubt that I'll spot anything before you do. You're pretty good at this. It's why I pushed Deanna so hard to let you come," Aaron explained.

Daryl felt a redness creep over his face and he averted his gaze. He wasn't used to compliments, especially from men. "I ain't nothin' special," he retorted. "Let's go."

He headed for his bike as Aaron muttered something under his breath. He wasn't positive, but he could have sworn it sounded like, "I highly doubt that." He shrugged it off, but the words surprisingly warmed him in a way that made him want to question everything that he had ever been taught.

...


	4. Chapter 4

...

"You kiddin' me right now?"

Aaron glanced up at Daryl in surprise. He expressed a lopsided smile of apology even as he wrinkled his nose in disdain.

"I can't. I'm sorry."

"It's squirrel," Daryl replied as if that in itself explained everything. He offered the meant to Aaron once more, practically shoving it into his unwilling hands.

"Yeah...could you just not repeat that? I think I was better off  _not_  knowing," Aaron admitted.

Daryl released a huff of annoyance. He bit down into the juicy meat with gusto. He was hungry and they really needed to ration the little food they had brought along with them. He couldn't believe that Aaron wouldn't even try it. It wasn't that bad, not really. He had eaten far worse since all this shit had started. He stole subtle glances at Aaron between the strands of hair that fanned his face.

"You get hungry enough and it'll taste like filet mignon."

"Somehow I doubt that," Aaron said dryly.

Daryl shrugged. "Suit yourself." He chuckled to himself.

"What's that?"

"What's what?"

"That laugh...what's so funny?"

"Nothin'. Just figures is all," Daryl replied.

That got Aaron's full attention and Daryl finished off his piece of meat, even going so far as to suck the juices from his fingers loudly. Aaron openly stared at him, but Daryl found that he didn't even mind anymore.

"Figures,  _how_?" Aaron prodded, his voice low.

"It's just how you pegged me for bein' good with motorcycles because you think I'm a redneck. I figured you would wimp out and not try the squirrel because you've gotten too soft for this world," Daryl explained.

"First off, I never called you a redneck. Those were your words, not mine. Second, I don't get how you think I'm soft. I've made it this far, haven't I? It sure as hell wasn't because of my looks." Aaron's voice rose a tad and Daryl could see that he had gotten under his skin. He hadn't ever seen him so flustered aside from the time when he had been arguing with Eric.

Daryl's expression changed to one of mild amusement as Aaron bit into his piece of meat. He chewed tentatively at first and as he got a good taste for it he took another much larger bite. Daryl simply waited, seated cross-legged by the fire as he polished off every bite. To his astonishment, Aaron even licked his own fingers afterwards. Daryl couldn't seem to look away even when Aaron let out a contented sigh and met his gaze.

"Damn you," Aaron muttered.

Daryl grinned, feeling quite pleased with himself. "You're welcome."

"No, ' _I told you so'_?" Aaron asked.

"What good would that do? You surprise me though. Not many people do anymore."

"Yes, well I couldn't very well let you get away with thinking I'm weak, now could I?" A small smile played across his lips.

"Don't think for a minute that just because you are squirrel that you ain't soft anymore."

Daryl was enjoying the light banter between the two of them. He had missed this, he realized. The last time he had let his guard down enough to enjoy a conversation had been back at the prison. It was odd how things seemed so simple and then yet how they had been anything but.

"Don't underestimate me," Aaron said. His voice was calm and without threat, but Daryl could feel the truth in that statement.

"I never underestimate anyone."

Aaron leaned against the wheel of the car and stretched his long legs out in front of him. His gaze was lost in the low flames of the fire.

"I don't like killing," Aaron finally spoke softly. "I'll admit that I'm not cut out for it, but never doubt that I will if the situation calls for it. People like to think that because I'm gay that it makes me a liability."

Daryl scoffed. "That's stupid. You're free to like whoever the hell ya want."

"I wish everyone thought that way. Sadly, there are still small-minded people in the world. If gays were a minority before, imagine what we are now."

He looked so lost and sad in that moment that Daryl felt bad for him. Part of him wanted to comfort him and that confused him. He wished that he had some sort of advice to offer him, but this was really out of his territory and he had never been good at giving advice anyway. This was already the longest conversation that he could remember having in a long time.

"Does it bother you? ...That I'm gay? You seem uncomfortable."

"Nah, it doesn't bother me. I just don't know what to say I guess. Never been good at emotions and shit," Daryl replied.

"I figured as much. I spent quite a bit of time studying you and I knew you wouldn't be the type to judge. You're a good man."

What was he saying? Daryl wasn't sure he was following the conversation so well anymore. It felt like there were things that Aaron was trying to tell him and he wished that he would just come out and say it instead of talking around it.

"You get a lot of people that judge you?"

"Sometimes," Aaron admitted. He played with a stick, drawing random designs in the dirt beside him.

"Must be hard. You and Eric-" Daryl paused, trying to think how to phrase his words. "...you been together a long time?"

Aaron seemed surprised at the question and his eyebrows rose slightly. "Long enough," he replied. "It's...it's hard to explain. I don't think that things between us are the same as they used to be. I mean, I  _love_ him, but..." Aaron sighed resolutely and looked away.

"You're not  _in_  love with him." The words spilled forth from Daryl's lips almost as in an afterthought.

Aaron sucked in a sharp breath, his eyes jerking back up to meet Daryl's gaze across the flames. There was complete silence between them for the space of several heartbeats.

"Yes. I mean, no...God...you're very perceptive, you know that?" His expression was one of supreme conflict.

"We should get some sleep," Daryl suggested. "Long day tomorrow and daylight comes early."

The conversation had become nearly silent and strained...things that Daryl couldn't handle. Especially when his own emotions seemed so out of whack. He had never spent so much time getting to know someone one on one like this. It felt weird, yet strangely relaxing. He wasn't one to normally care much about a person's past, but yet he was drawn to Aaron in ways that he couldn't quite explain.

Carol and Rick had always been the two people left in this world that Daryl had always been closest to. It had taken months for him to build that trust between them to the extent that it was today.

Then why was he already feeling like he could trust Aaron like that? It was insane and he didn't know what to do with the realization. Trust had never been easy for him, but maybe he was getting a little soft himself. He shuddered at the thought, gnawing on the inside of his lip.

"Goodnight, Daryl."

Aaron lay down on his sleeping bag and rolled onto his side. Daryl remained seated and stared into the fire. He was tired, but his mind was working too hard for him to sleep. He kept staring at Aaron intermittently. He was feeling this insane urge to protect the other man and that baffled him. He pondered Rick's words from earlier and wondered if his friend wasn't on to something. Were they all letting their guard down too soon?

Whatever it was, Daryl only knew that he needed to keep his distance from Aaron - physically  _and_  emotionally.

...


	5. Chapter 5

...

"Someone's been through here." Daryl pointed out the prints on the ground below and then further out where the makings of a fire had once been. Stooping down low, Daryl studied the print and then moved to glance down at the spot where the fire had been. "Don't think it's been too long ago this happened."

Beside him Aaron frowned as he followed Daryl's gaze. "How do you know all this just from looking at it?"

Daryl shrugged, "Practice, I guess. I've always been more comfortable in the woods than anywhere else. It's like second nature to me."

"Can you teach me? To track like you do?"

"Nothing to teach." Daryl's reply was short and he stood up to keep walking. He didn't want to have this conversation. He had taught Beth a little about tracking and now she was gone. She had become like the sister he had never had and her death was still fresh on his mind.

"So what you really mean is that you won't teach me."

"Didn't say that."

"You didn't have to. Your tone says it all."

Daryl stopped in mid-step, whirling around and nearly running into Aaron who hadn't expected the sudden turnabout. "What the hell do you know about my tone? Don't pretend like you know me or that you understand."

Instead of Aaron backing away like most people who knew him would have, he merely stared at Daryl, his expression blank, but curious. It was unnerving to say the least. There were several minutes where they simply stared at one another, neither of them daring to look away first. The intensity made Daryl nervous, but thankfully a walker came trampling through the brush and Aaron's gaze was diverted. Daryl watched him turn and walk toward the walker, knife raised high in the air to take it down. Before he could complete the task, Daryl aimed his bow and fired a bolt straight into the offending walker's forehead.

Aaron paused, his back still turned to Daryl, knife still slightly raised and shoulders hunched. The walker crumpled to the ground in a heap of rotten flesh and still Aaron stood in the same position. Daryl started to feel a little bad about it because he knew it had been a dickhead move, but he had done it regardless. He had thought that he was starting to be okay again...even returning to his former self, but apparently he wasn't. He was lashing out at others, even ones that he truly cared about. He sighed and moved closer.

"If you wanna learn that bad, then I'll teach ya."

Aaron finally moved, sheathing his knife and looking off in the distance so that Daryl was treated to his side profile. "No, it's okay. Don't do me any favors." His voice was flat, devoid of all emotion and that bothered Daryl for reasons he didn't understand.

"I don't do favors," Daryl huffed as he moved past and grabbed his bolt from the walker's forehead.

"I'm sorry."

Daryl's jaw twitched. " _You're sorry?_  Why the hell are  _you_  sorry? I'm the one who's been acting like an asshole all morning!"

"You're right, but apparently I pressed your buttons and for that I'm sorry."

Daryl wanted to hit something. He could feel all the emotions he had thought were suppressed rising to the surface like molten lava in his throat. It burned and he didn't like it. He didn't like the fact that he was about to lose all control in front of anyone, but especially in front of Aaron. He hated even more that Aaron was so calm about the whole thing, even apologizing when he really had nothing to be sorry for. Did anyone even apologize anymore?

He dug the tip of his nails into the flesh of his palm hard enough to draw blood, cursing at himself. Murmuring under his breath he closed his eyes and fought for control. He was tired of losing people, tired of this life and everything that went with it. Tired of being strong all the damn time when all he really wanted was to lean on someone else for once. Just once. It would be nice to not have to worry about shit like getting eaten or being attacked by others. His head started to swim and he could feel his vision blur even as his breath grew short.

"Fuck," he breathed as he bent forward, bracing himself on his knees with both hands.

"Daryl?"

He could hear Aaron's voice in the background, could feel his hand touch his shoulder and then his arm. He couldn't seem to make himself respond, to make everything stop spinning so out of control. What the fuck was wrong with him? Why couldn't he get his shit together?

He spluttered as water splashed onto his face, making him gasp out loud. Slowly he lowered himself down to the ground and blinked as Aaron's face slowly came into view. He knelt in front of Daryl with a bottle of water, his face a mask of concern.

"What happened?" Daryl asked as he leaned back against a tree trunk.

"I think you just had a panic attack," Aaron responded.

Daryl swiped a hand over his face wearily. He didn't like that at all...that loss of control.

"You're bleeding?"

"What?" Daryl squinted at Aaron. He followed Aaron's gaze and saw that he was indeed bleeding on the palm of his hand where he had apparently dug his fingernails into the skin. It wasn't a lot, nor did it hurt, but it seemed that Aaron didn't see it that way. "It's nothin'," he explained.

"Let me see it. You don't want it to get infected."

Aaron grabbed his hand before he could protest and used water from their bottles to clear some of the dirt away. Daryl could only stare at him, torn between yanking his hand back and shock. Besides Carol, no one had ever bandaged him up before or really bothered to clean his wounds. He wasn't sure how he felt about that, but he didn't pull away either. Instead, he simply watched Aaron's face, studying the other man while he made sure the dirt was washed away.

"The last thing we need is for something simple to turn into something nasty. I've seen it happen and with as much dirt as you have on you, it wouldn't surprise me if it got infected."

Daryl scoffed at his words. "Ain't that dirty," he mumbled.

Aaron simply raised an eyebrow in response, but he didn't respond. He used a portion of the inside of his jacket that wasn't covered in dirt to dry the wound before releasing Daryl's hand. Daryl felt an odd sensation come over him as soon as Aaron's touch left him, but he shook it off. He pushed himself to his feet, intending to keep trekking along, but stumbled just a bit.

"Woah! Easy..." Aaron urged as he grabbed onto Daryl's elbow in an attempt to keep him upright should he fall over.

This time Daryl did yank his arm away. He wasn't an invalid and the last thing he needed or wanted was someone treating him like he was fragile. He could take care of himself just fine, had been doing it for years in fact.

"Don't need you to hold my hand," he griped.

"Fine. I think you need to sit a minute though."

"I'm fine."

"I see."

"I'm  _fine,_ " Daryl emphasized.

"You said that already."

"Yeah, well you seem to be hard of hearin' so thought I would say it again just in case."

"Are you going to be like this the whole time we're out here?"

"Are you?"

"Considering this is who I am, then most likely yes," Aaron responded.

"Then there's your answer."

Aaron sighed and Daryl led the way through the woods once more, trying to ignore the dull throbbing in his head. He knew he really should heed Aaron's advice and sit a minute, but he was stubborn...always had been. Besides, they had a lot of ground to cover and he didn't feel like wasting time when it wasn't really necessary. Especially for something as simple as a  _panic attack._  Why the hell had he had one of those? He always thought panic attacks were something women had, not men. His brother was probably laughing in his grave right now. A panic attack. He scoffed.

"That wasn't it."

"What?" Aaron asked.

Daryl stopped in his tracks and turned to face the other man, "A panic attack...I didn't have one."

Aaron's eyebrows raised nearly to his hairline. He started to say something, but then he merely wiped a hand across his jaw. "You do know that it's okay if you did, right?"

Daryl averted his eyes, suddenly not to keen on having this conversation. He didn't know why it was so important to him that Aaron believe it wasn't a panic attack, but it just was.

"Mhm," he mumbled.

"You know what? You're probably right. It could just as easily be something else."

Daryl nodded. "We got a lot of ground to cover. We good?"

"Sure," Aaron shrugged.

Daryl turned to begin walking again, but then stopped and turned back. "First things first. If you wanna learn to track, then you gotta keep up."

...


	6. Chapter 6

The sound of a stick cracking somewhere in the woods jarred Daryl from sleep. He blinked wearily, his eyes still coming to focus on the dark surroundings even as his ears were alert to every sound that bled through the night.

His first move was to check his immediate surroundings and aside from a small dying fire, he was alone.  _Where the fuck was Aaron?_  He had said he would take watch and Daryl had trusted him to do so. He knew he should have never trusted anyone else. He  _knew_ better and had Merle still been around he would have surely smacked Daryl in the back of his head for the error in judgment. The rules had always been clear: _trust no one_.

Rising to his feet he moved silently around the fire as he removed his knife from his waist, ready and willing to take out anything that deemed a threat. The low light from the fire was just enough to provide him with the direction that Aaron had traveled in and he headed that way. A tingling sensation traveled across his skin giving him the feeling that something wasn't right. That's when he heard it. The unmistakable groan coming from a man. A groan that sounded as far from pain as possible.

_Aaron_. And that was when the pieces fell together for Daryl. He paused midstep, halfway between continuing out of curiosity and turning back due to embarrassment. His thoughts hung in the balance, faltering in the middle of a single heartbeat, a repeated low groan falling from another man's lips. He knew that he should turn back, especially given the fact that Aaron had no idea that he was even awake, let alone playing audience to his time meant to be spent alone.

Yet he stayed.

He stood with one hand propped against the trunk of a nearby tree, ears attuned to every moan that followed. He refused to think about  _why_  he still stood there or  _why_  he suddenly found himself so curious. No, he wouldn't think about those things because it had nothing to do with it. He was simply sticking nearby to make sure that the damn man didn't get himself killed. That was all.

Another soft moan, more drawn out this time was immediately followed by a hard grunt and more shuffling. With a pounding pulse, Daryl realized that if he didn't move back toward their camp then Aaron was likely to run into him in a few minutes. His hunter instincts carried him safely back to the glowing embers where he lay back down upon the ground trying to calm his racing heart.

He could hear Aaron moving through the woods now, his footsteps soft, but not nearly as silent as they should be. He listened until Aaron stepped back into the circle of cans they had made, a cheap alarm system made to buy them a few minutes in the case of walkers stumbling too close.

Daryl closed his eyes, but his mind refused to rest. He wished for daylight or even a straggling walker, anything to distract him for a minute. He didn't understand his thoughts, but more than that it was the way that his body reacted that confused him the most. He listened to Aaron make himself comfortable and tried to forget about the pounding erection between his legs.

...

"Hey, you okay?" Aaron asked.

They walked down the edge of a field just after daybreak. Daryl already had three squirrels stringed onto his belt and was working on the fourth, doing his best to ignore Aaron who seemed hell-bent on making his presence known.

"Yeah. Of course I'm okay," Daryl huffed. His voice came out harsher than he had intended, but his pride refused to allow him to take it back. He wouldn't even let himself glance in Aaron's direction and that bothered him.

This whole  _thing_  bothered him.

"You don't seem okay," Aaron continued as if Daryl hadn't just growled at him, "In fact, you seem kind of pissed off which confuses me since yesterday you were fine. I'm curious to know if it's something that I did?"

Daryl cursed under his breath and wiped at the sweat that gathered on his brow. He watched the fourth squirrel run for cover up a nearby tree and ground his teeth together in frustration. "Well curiosity killed the fuckin' cat. Ever hear of that?"

Aaron slowly came to a full stop, hands resting on his hips as he pinned Daryl with a stare. "As a matter of fact I have. I would also like to point out that the saying has nothing to do with me or this situation."

"Oh, it has everything to do with it," Daryl muttered under his breath.

"What?"

"Nothing. Forget it and let's move on. Unless you want to spend the rest of our miserable lives out here in the woods," Daryl replied.

"You know what I think?" Aaron commented as they began walking again.

"I know you're gonna tell me regardless of what I answer," Daryl responded. He swept his eyes up in the trees, trying and failing to spot any wildlife. He was irritated, having finally fallen asleep only to awaken with morning wood to rival the hardest of trees in the forest. He was taking his frustrations out on Aaron which he realized was wrong, but was helpless to stop himself from doing so. Life was a real bitch sometimes.

"I think you need to get laid, Daryl."

That stopped Daryl in his tracks and he could feel Aaron no more than a hair's breadth away from him, nearly running into him at his sudden stop. Daryl huffed out a laugh at the irony of that statement. Without thinking he spun around and stepped into Aaron's space, staring the other man down intensely.

"And just how do you suppose I do that? You see any volunteers?  _You_  gonna volunteer?" He joked.

"I thought that you and Carol..."

"That we were what? Fucking? Let me set something straight with you right now, city boy. Carol's a lot classier than that. She's been through hell and back, coming out stronger than any woman I've ever met. The last thing she needs is another man to fuck things up for her."

"Hmph, that's interesting," Aaron remarked. He side-stepped Daryl, but Daryl was quicker and cut him off from leaving.

"What's interesting?"

"The way you two are around each other I thought...I mean, if you're not with her...You're not with  _anyone_?"

Daryl shrugged, "That so hard to believe?" Why did he even care what this man thought? He hadn't cared what people thought before so why start now? Dixon's didn't need anyone. They were meant to survive on their own and he was doing a damn fine job. The last thing he needed was some college-educated city boy trying to tell him any different.

"But you're into women, right?" Aaron pressed, his eyes so focused on Daryl's facial expression that he began to shift uncomfortably.

Sliding his eyes away from that gaze, Daryl could feel his face blooming red. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a squirrel dart across the ground and he lifted his bow, taking aim as his eyes tracked the animal's movements. Thankful for the distraction now more than ever, he let the bolt fly, a sense of pride filling him as he hit his mark.

He strode past Aaron, aware of the man's stare as he ignored him and picked up the squirrel, reclaiming his bolt in the process. He was fully aware of the fact that he hadn't answered Aaron's question and nor did he intend to. He wasn't the type to sit and have conversations about his sex life or lack thereof. Those kinds of things were nobody's business but his own and he definitely wasn't talking about it with Aaron. Fuck that.

How the hell did they get into that conversation anyway?

More importantly, how was Daryl supposed to answer a question even he himself wasn't sure of the answer to?


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your kind words inspire me to write more! Seriously, I thank you.

...

"Are you sure these tracks are fresh?" Aaron asked as Daryl stooped to examine something in the brush.

They had been following along beside a creek for the better part of the day. Daryl occasionally stopped to listen or study what he said were tracks, but Aaron wasn't so sure. He wasn't an expert by any means, but he figured that they should have run into the owners of said tracks by now. He had been hesitant to bring up the question because he hadn't wanted to offend Daryl - a task that came far too easily to him lately - but now he was getting worried that they might be on a wild goose chase.

As expected, Daryl cut his eyes at him before rising again with a sigh. Aaron braced himself for a sarcastic retort and was thoroughly surprised when all he received in return was a firm, "They're fresh."

He didn't know what he had done, but somewhere along the way Daryl had decided that he didn't like him. That fact shouldn't have bothered him really, but for some strange reason it gnawed at him. He had assumed that they had been getting along back at Alexandria, hadn't they? He had searched his brain, but he kept coming up empty for reasons why Daryl would suddenly dislike him.

As if that fact alone didn't complicate things enough, he was starting to  _feel_  things...things that he had no business feeling. Like last night for instance. Daryl had roasted several squirrel over a small fire for them to share. Aaron was working past his protests over eating the animal, but Daryl...Daryl ate every meal as if it were his last. The man had no qualms over smacking lips and licking fingers.

And really, those things didn't have any affect over Aaron.

At all.

Except when Daryl had licked his fingers, tongue sliding all the way down each digit and back, something had stirred deep within him. Eyes transfixed, he had watched Daryl's mouth close over the thickness of his thumb, humming a little as he collected the juices before pulling it free with a soft pop. It really shouldn't have affected Aaron the way that it did.

But it had.

The real kicker of it all was that after Daryl had fallen asleep, he had to sneak off into the bushes just to find some relief. That wasn't him. He wasn't the guy who craved sex all day, every day. Some guys he knew from before had thought about it all the damn time, but it had never been like that between him and Eric. Sure, they had sex and it was great, but it wasn't an itch that needed scratching daily. It just wasn't.

"Hey! Pay attention," Daryl barked from ahead.

Aaron blinked, realizing that he wasn't keeping up and he hastened his steps to catch up to Daryl who shook his head with a look of exasperation. "Sorry. I'm usually more alert than this," Aaron explained. "I guess I'm just ready to be back home."

"Home?" Daryl snorted. "You call that place home?"

"Well, what would you call it?"

Daryl paused as if seriously considering the question and then he shrugged. "Ain't no home I've ever had. Just another stepping stone to something else I reckon."

"You don't like it there?" Aaron questioned.

"Could be worse," Daryl answered with a sideways glance. "You like it there?"

"Could be worse," Aaron echoed.

The corners of Daryl's lips twitched upward, the first semblance of a smile he had seen from the man. Even though it wasn't full-blown, he would still accept it as a win. It sure beat the grunts and growls he had been receiving thus far.

"You missin' your guy?" Daryl's question caught him off guard. He realized that he hadn't thought much about Eric this trip in regards to missing him. His first trip out in months without him and he didn't even miss him. What did that say about him as a person? Guilt swam through him.

"Eric?"

"Who else?" Daryl huffed with a bewildered expression.

"I gu-" Before Aaron could complete his thought, he found himself flat on the ground, the air knocked clean from his lungs. He blinked rapidly up at Daryl who held him down with one hand braced upon his chest, the other holding one long finger to his lips. Aaron's heart pounded a thousand beats a minute within his chest as he began to hear voices.

Daryl's eyes briefly met his and Aaron nodded to show he understood the need for quiet as Daryl removed his hand, his eyes scanning their surroundings. Aaron rolled onto his belly next to Daryl and peered through the brush in front of them.

Three men walked the woods several hundred yards away, their voices carrying over to them. They weren't close enough to make out what was being said, but Aaron knew better than to waltz up on three possibly armed men especially when they were outnumbered. He and Eric had learned early on that you didn't approach just anyone. You made a plan that left room for the potential of something going wrong and only then did you approach. Apparently Daryl was of the same frame of mind.

"One on the left is packin'," Daryl whispered.

Aaron's eyes followed, studying the burly man on the left of the trio. He was bald, an array of tattoos covering his large bare arms. As Aaron's eyes slid to his waist he saw the unmistakable bulge of the gun that Daryl had referred to. He swallowed down a wave of anxiety.

Guns posed a problem. Neither he nor Daryl carried a gun and normally that wasn't a big deal. But these men didn't seem the type to willingly listen to what he had to say before opening fire. Aaron wasn't ready to die and he wasn't about to let Daryl die either. However, he more than anyone knew better than to judge someone based solely on their looks. If anyone could get a feel for these men then it was him.

The other two men were large in stature, but didn't appear to be carrying any guns that he could see. One was carrying a backpack and the other carried some type of long metal stake of some sort. Aaron couldn't write them off just because they carried weapons as a means to defend themselves. He had taken a chance with Rick's group and it had paid off. They could do this.

"We need to follow them," Aaron whispered, "See what kind of people they are."

Daryl's eyes slid to his narrowly, "Are you out of your mind? They're clearly not out for a fuckin' stroll."

They turned back toward the direction of the men, watching as they made their way away from them further into the woods. They were still talking occasionally, but just as before their words were indecipherable from this distance.

"Look, I know they don't look like the friendly type, but that may just be a front. Their size alone would make them invaluable to Alexandria, don't you think?" Aaron asked.

"If you're wrong..." Daryl sighed. "Fuck it. We're gonna die one day anyway, right?"

Daryl made the move to stand now that the trio were falling out of sight, but Aaron grabbed his arm. He stared into Daryl's eyes intently. He needed to know that Daryl was in this with him. Their was something in Daryl that Aaron had seen from that first day with Eric when they had spotted their group out on the road. He wasn't just a redneck like he tried to appear to be.

Daryl's eyes fell upon Aaron's hand that gripped his arm. "Do you trust me?" Aaron asked.

Daryl sighed and closed his eyes briefly, one hand gripping his crossbow. "Aaron..."

"We can do this, Daryl. We'll follow them, see what they're up to and come up with a plan. If they seem hostile then we'll back off and pretend this never happened, okay?"

"And if this blows up in our face...what then?"

Aaron slowly let his hand drop, his fingers tingling a bit from the skin to skin contact with Daryl. He stared off in the direction that the men had disappeared.

It was the same every time. There was always a fear that things could go terribly wrong. He had experienced it with Eric multiple times, but his saving grace was knowing that if something happened to him then at least Eric would make it. To make things happen then you had to take the risk and hope that it all worked out. It was all they had.

"Then you head back without me. Simple as that."


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for the short chapter! Life is chaotic at best, but I'm trying my hardest to stay caught up for you guys. Thanks for reading!

Head back without Aaron? 

No. The thought nearly made him sick to his stomach. He had lost enough people and he wasn't keen on losing more. Losing Tyreese, Noah, and Beth were still fresh on his mind. He wasn't going to add Aaron to that list. No fucking way. 

He doubled over on his knees, the air not flowing to his lungs suddenly. What the fuck? Not this shit again. He fought to control the urge to surrender to the weight that was settling on his chest, the heaviness that was making it difficult to breathe. Blackness crowded his vision and somewhere in the background he heard Aaron speaking to him. 

"I'm fine...just gimme' a minute." He heard the words as if he were floating somewhere above himself listening in to someone else's conversation. A heavy hand came to rest on his shoulder. Aaron. He tried to rise to his feet, but the blackness doubled and instead he remained on his knees. He felt weak and he hated that more than anything. "Fuck," he whispered.

"Just breathe, Daryl," Aaron coaxed softly and for some reason that irritated him. Couldn't Aaron see that he was trying? 

"Can't," he growled even as his breath hitched. Sweat dripped from his forehead, falling onto his hands that were clenched into tight fists resting on his pants. 

Aaron moved faster than Daryl had ever seen. Sliding to his knees before him, Aaron gripped the back of his neck, squeezing gently. Daryl couldn't focus. He felt like he was choking, but that was fucking ridiculous because there was nothing there. 

"Just relax. Focus on me. Look at my chest. See how I'm breathing?" Aaron asked. 

Even though he felt stupid, Daryl looked, willing to try anything to make this feeling go away. He didn't like it - this loss of control. He focused on Aaron's chest, watching it rise in and out as he breathed in deeply. He felt Aaron's forehead against his own, his soft voice washing over him as he kept repeating himself.

This was stupid. It wasn't going to work. What the hell?

And then amazingly, it did. 

Little by little, the tightness in his chest decreased, allowing more air into his lungs. He wasn't choking anymore and he breathed in long gulps of air, grateful for the one thing he took for granted everyday. He could breathe again. 

"Fuck," Daryl whispered. 

He closed his eyes and opened them again, finally focusing on his surroundings. Aaron stared at him, their forehead still pressed together, concern etched in his features. It was an odd feeling for Daryl...having someone besides Carol show obvious concern for him. He wasn't sure he liked it, but he didn't move away from him either. He felt fingers at the base of his neck and realized that Aaron was massaging him gently, strong fingers pressing deep into his skin. 

A groan of satisfaction escaped him and Aaron's fingers froze. Daryl felt his whole body tense, all too aware of the man before him in a way that he wasn't sure he was ultimately comfortable with. He cleared his throat and backed away, Aaron's hand leaving his neck. Daryl cleared his throat and stared off into the distance for a moment to gather himself.

"You okay?" Aaron asked softly.

Daryl nodded, not wanting to admit to anyone, much less himself, how much the other man's touch had thrown him. All his life he had associated men as being untrustworthy for the most part. First it had been the man who claimed to be his father, but had beaten him whenever the mood struck. Then it had been Merle, who had left him behind at a time when his brother had been his whole world. Utterly defenseless. His own mother hadn't even been the affectionate type.

So to have Aaron - a man he really didn't _know_ , to touch him in anything other than anger screwed with his whole world. Sure, he let Rick and even Glenn touch him, but that was different. He knew them, probably more than anybody else and they had proven themselves time and again. They were like his brothers. Aaron wasn't. 

Yet he had touched Daryl. And it hadn't felt brotherly at all.

"I'm losing my mind," he muttered under his breath.

"No, but you have been having these panic attacks quite frequently," Aaron replied and Daryl hadn't realized he had spoken the words out loud.

"This ain't me. I don't have panic attacks," he insisted. He glanced around the woods, even in his disoriented state keeping aware of his surroundings. 

"Daryl-" Aaron's hand fell upon his shoulder. 

It might have been because he was still raw from the gentle massage to his neck or it might have been because he still hadn't gotten himself under control. But for whatever reason, Daryl grabbed his hand and jerked. In one smooth motion, Aaron was flipped over onto the ground, landing on his back so that the air was forced out of him.

He regretted the action the moment their eyes met and he saw the slight fear creep into Aaron's eyes only to be chased quickly away by concern. And fuck if that wasn't just as bad as the fear. But just like usual, his own stubbornness swooped in, refusing to let him utter an apology. He grit his teeth together in frustration, his fingers wrapped tightly around Aaron's wrist so much so that he could feel every bit of blood being pumped through the man's veins. 

Aaron stared at him with unblinking eyes and to his credit he didn't move a muscle. They were at a standstill and damn if Daryl had any idea where to go from here. 

"I won't hurt you," he finally whispered, unable to tear his eyes away from the man beneath him. 

Aaron swallowed, but finally nodded slowly. "I know," he murmured. 

The image hit him hard, the intensity of it nearly knocking him on his ass. Just the simple act of watching Aaron's tongue dart out and lick at his lips set him off. He was sure of it. It had to be the heat...or the fact that he had just recently lost all control again. That had to be it because it couldn't be anything else. It couldn't be that he was having feelings for this man.  _A man_. Christ, what would the others think? 

Yet even as he scrambled backward from the other man, the image continued to haunt him. He did his best to force it out of his mind, but it returned each time like a broken record, repeating the same image over and over again. The image of his tongue sliding into Aaron's mouth, their chests colliding together with enough force to knock the breath from them. He ran his hand over his face knowing that it wouldn't take it away, but trying nonetheless. Aaron had someone. He had Eric and Daryl respected Eric even though he felt like he didn't know the man. Daryl had morals after all, even if sometimes it didn't seem as such. Despite those morals, it wasn't the fact that it was a man that worried him, nor was it the fact that the man was off limits. 

No, what really worried him? 

It was the fact that even as he willed the image as far from his mind as possible, it still had no affect on his body. Nor on the part of his body that was erect. The part that was hard and aching for the touch of the man's lips who still lay mere inches from him. 

"Daryl?" Aaron's voice cut through the fog that was his brain, but he couldn't. He couldn't do this anymore.

"Not now, Aaron," he responded, his voice gruff and harder than intended. 

He was so fucking screwed.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the extremely long wait! I said I wouldn't abandon this one and I assure you I haven't. I was going to make this one longer, but I updated my Rickyl fic and now I'm running out of time. I didn't want to save and come back so I decided to go ahead and post it now. Thanks for the support! Enjoy!

"Daryl..."

"Not now."

Aaron sighed as he trudged along behind Daryl in the  _opposite_  direction that the men from earlier had gone. Out of the blue Daryl had decided that he was done and he wanted to go back to Alexandria, back to the others. To say that Aaron had been shocked was an understatement. From what he knew of Daryl he wasn't one to simply back down from things.

Yet Daryl had been different from how he knew him on this trip.

For one, Daryl had been having the panic attacks and that worried Aaron although he tried his best not to let it show. It hadn't taken him long to figure out that Daryl wasn't one to receive comfort or any kind of pity. Sure, Aaron could understand that, but at the same time he still worried. Guys like Daryl didn't just have panic attacks out of the blue. It was strange.

A walker ambled in their direction, its rotten stench filling the air surrounding them. It headed for Daryl, but instead of taking it out like he normally would, Daryl dodged it and kept on pushing forward through the brush. The walker changed course for Aaron and biting back a curse, Aaron kicked it in the chest and sent his knife through its skull. He grimaced as blood splattered onto the back of his hand and he wiped it on his pants before jogging to catch up to Daryl.

"Thanks for that," he deadpanned.

Daryl merely grunted in reply. Aaron released a frustrated breath, realizing that Daryl wasn't likely to have any type of conversation with him any time soon. It looked as though they were heading back whether he liked it or not. Because no way in hell was he leaving Daryl to head back by himself and he couldn't very well search for willing strangers on his own.

What a wasted trip. At least he would get to see Eric. Usually just the thought of his lover was enough to make him perk up, but he just couldn't seem to gather his usual excitement. Maybe Daryl was rubbing off on him.

Shit.

* * *

"Daryl, you're back. Is everything okay?" Glenn greeted them at the gate as they parked the car and motorcycle. Daryl didn't respond and Glenn looked back and forth between them curiously. "Daryl?" Daryl didn't even spare him a glance as he brushed past, heading down the street.

He heard Aaron's voice speaking to Glenn as he walked away, but he couldn't make out the words. Not that he cared. He  _didn't_ care, he told himself. He just needed to get back and surround himself with something familiar, with people who didn't make him do crazy shit.

Like have panic attacks. Who did that? Not him.

Ignoring several waves and greetings from people he passed in the street, he almost didn't see her until she stepped directly into his path. His eyes fell upon her perfectly pressed khaki slacks then slid up past her blouse to take in her face. The look of concern he saw there nearly did him in and he did something he didn't normally do.

He grabbed Carol and hugged her like his life depended on it.

She stood there in shock for several moments before he felt her arms wind their way around him as she returned the gesture. For once he didn't even care that they were out in the middle of the street or that people might be staring. He didn't care that this wasn't something he normally did - showing affection. The only thing he cared about was that Carol understood him. Besides Rick, she was probably the one person who understood him the most. Unlike Aaron, who didn't understand him at  _all._

He breathed in the light floral scent that clung to her skin. She didn't push him for answers. She just let him take the time that he needed. He was so grateful for that. Aaron's constant barrage of questions were starting to give him a headache.  _This_ was what he needed.

And yet he didn't feel a thing. Not  _one_ goddamn thing.

He pulled back, a lock of his hair falling over his eyes that Carol brushed back gently as she stared at him, waiting patiently. He ran his dirty fingers through his hair even as his eyes did a scan of the street. Thank God no one was out openly staring at them.

He watched Carol open her mouth to speak, but he beat her to it. "Before you ask, everything's fine. Just decided to end the trip early is all. Cold trails and no sign of life anywhere." He was openly lying to her and he hated it, but he couldn't bring himself to tell her. Usually he told her everything, but this? For some reason he couldn't tell her this. Not when he didn't even know what  _this_  was exactly.

"We'll just have to regroup and try a new direction soon. There's got to be others out there somewhere. And if there is, we'll find them." She smiled, "It's good to have you back. Doesn't feel right without you here." She squeezed his arm gently.

"Carol," Aaron's voice reverberated through Daryl and he stiffened. "You mind if I talk to Daryl a minute?"

Carol smiled at Aaron as she placed one hand on his arm affectionately. "Sure. And thank you for helping bring him back. Both of you. It's good to have you back safe." She spared Daryl one last glance as she walked away, leaving them alone once again.

Aaron waited until she was out of ear shot before he spoke, his voice cautiously low. "I know you're pissed at me for some reason, but I hope that you'll at least tell someone about the episodes you've been having."

Daryl snorted and he turned his whole body towards Aaron. " _Episodes_? I don't know what you're talking about. Everything is fine."

Aaron nodded almost as if he had expected as much and didn't that just further serve to piss Daryl off. He knew his anger was misdirected, but he still couldn't keep himself from cocking an attitude. It wasn't Aaron's fault...or at least not the panic attacks anyway. He didn't know what was causing those quite yet, but he also wasn't ready to admit that he was having them either. They were a weakness he couldn't afford.

Aaron's hand cupped his shoulder, "Daryl-"

He didn't even remember doing it, but Daryl found himself pushing Aaron backward into the depths between the houses. He didn't stop until Aaron's body hit the side of one of the houses, his breath escaping him in a whoosh.

"What do you want from me?" Daryl hissed, his face a lot closer to Aaron than he knew it should be.

Aaron held both hands up in a surrendering gesture. "I just want to help you. That's all."

"You think I'm something broken that you can just  _fix_? The fuck!" He immediately lowered his voice so as not to draw anyone's attention to them. "I don't want or need your help," he muttered.

It was Aaron's turn to scoff and the action was so unfamiliar to his personality that Daryl could only blink at him. "You know, I've been nothing but nice to you and in return you've been a total  _dick_  to me. What is it about me that pisses you off so bad, huh, Daryl? Tell me now so we can fix this and put it behind us. You weren't like this before we took off."

Daryl stared at Aaron, his mind rapidly trying to keep up with where this conversation was heading. He was't used to Aaron pushing back. So far the other man had backed down at every turn. He had let Daryl lash out at him over and over again. Even though Daryl had known that was wrong, he still hadn't been able to stop himself. There was something about Aaron that was slowly driving him crazy - he was sure of it.

Something about the way that Aaron was biting back at him made his cock stir to life. He could feel himself beginning to sport a rather nice erection. If Aaron happened to even glance downward then the evidence of it would be glaringly obvious.

_Fuck._

Taking a step backward, Daryl's eyes darted to the bushes beside them, willing his erection to go down. Nothing was working and Aaron was still staring at him with an irritated look on his face that wasn't helping matters any.

Before he could say anything, Aaron spoke again, "Nothing to say now? This whole time you've been biting my damn head off and now you're suddenly mute again?" Aaron shook his head in disgust and pushed away from the wall. Only Daryl didn't step back to allow him more room and that put them toe to toe. A shiver of desire raced through Daryl, pinning him in place. "Forget it. I don't have time for this. Eric is waiting on me. At least he-"

Daryl surged forward, pinning Aaron to the wall with his body as his lips descended on their target. Daryl hadn't ever kissed another man in his whole life, but at that moment his body didn't care what gender was in front of him. He only cared that it was Aaron and for some reason his body was turned on by this man. Fuck if he could figure it out.

Aaron's lips were firm and unyielding at first, but as Daryl pressed onward they gradually softened until the other man was kissing him back. It was only when Daryl felt the touch of Aaron's tongue that he blinked and broke the kiss, stumbling backward. The tent in the front of his jeans was blatantly obvious, but in that moment the only thing that Daryl could think of was that he needed to get away...away from everyone.

_Especially_ Aaron.

Aaron was still pressed against the wall, his chest heaving with each breath and as he slowly raised his head and their eyes locked, Daryl panicked. So he did the only thing he could think to do.

Daryl ran.


	10. Chapter 10

"Hey, is everything okay? You've been really quiet tonight." 

Aaron turned to his Eric and attempted a reassuring smile, but even his best effort still felt lame and unconvincing. It felt ten shades of wrong to lie, but what else was he supposed to do? If he told him what was constantly running through his mind it would destroy him. 

_Daryl kissed me. And I liked it. I liked it so much that I want to do it again._

Aaron groaned at his own thoughts and rolled over in the bed, giving Eric his back. Usually by this time they would be wrapped up in an intimate embrace, but Aaron couldn't bring himself to touch him. It felt wrong and it was all Daryl's fault. 

Or was it? Aaron definitely hadn't pushed the other man away. What did that mean? Was Daryl gay? 

He couldn't stop reliving the kiss that had shaken him to his core. The feel of Daryl's hard body pressed up against his own, lips hot and demanding. Daryl had a way of commanding attention even when he didn't realize it. Well, he definitely had Aaron's attention. 

He frowned down at the tent forming in his jogging pants. Apparently Daryl had  _all_ of Aaron's attention. 

Familiar hands slid around his hips, slender arms brushing across his tent. Aaron closed his eyes and tried to force himself to be in the moment, to feel Eric's hands on him. But even with his eyes closed he still saw Daryl, still felt those lips slanting forcefully across his own. 

"Not tonight, Eric," he whispered. He felt Eric pause and he knew if he turned he would see the look of shock and maybe even hurt on his face. It hurt him, but he wouldn't do that to Eric. It wasn't fair and he wasn't that man. 

"Oh, well if you're sure..."

Aaron nodded quickly and gave Eric's hand a gentle squeeze. "I'm just tired. Didn't sleep very well and all." 

"Of course. I understand. I bet it was different being with Daryl, huh? He push you too hard?" Eric asked.

Aaron stiffened, "What?"

Eric slid closer and pressed his face into the curve of Aaron's neck as his fingers played with the shirt that spanned his chest. "He just doesn't strike me as the type of guy who sits down to rest much. He seems nice enough from the times we've had him over, but he also seems a little high strung."

"It's late. Can we talk tomorrow? I've been with Daryl for a while now and I kind of need a break." Aaron forced a laugh, causing Eric to chuckle behind him. 

"Sure. Sleep well, handsome."

Eric's lips pressed against his neck and Aaron closed his eyes and tried to feign sleep. It was going to be a long night. 

 

* * *

 

 

Daryl followed Aaron as he left his house, silently stalking him as he weaved between the houses. He was drawn to everything about him - his walk, the way he ran his hand through his hair, the ability he had to draw people in, and from this point of view? His ass.

Daryl couldn't stop looking at it. 

He knew it was wrong to follow the man, but ever since that kiss he couldn't get the guy out of his head. He needed to touch him again or something. 

_Or something._ He didn't really want to think about what that meant. 

Aaron paused near the fence, reaching into his pocket in search of something. His face was partially visible, the frown that creased his perfect lips beckoning to Daryl. He didn't even realize that his boots were taking him closer until Aaron glanced up with a startled expression. 

His face darkened with an unrecognizable emotion as he took in Daryl's approaching figure. Only Daryl didn't stop as he drew closer. He kept coming, his long legs eating up the distance between them until he had Aaron backed up against the fence. It was exactly where he wanted him and his dick twitched in his jeans, eager for an interaction. 

He wasted no time with words. Instead he took what he wanted, grabbing the back of Aaron's head firmly as he smashed their lips together. 

Aaron groaned and the sound encouraged Daryl, made him feel so powerful that he pushed his hips forward, their pelvises brushing. 

"Get up," Aaron said as Daryl broke free to draw in a breath.

Daryl frowned in confusion, "What?" 

"Hey!"

Daryl jerked forward with a start, his eyes blinking open wearily. Automatically his hand went for his knife, tension etched across his face. As his fingers grazed the handle Rick's face finally came into view and it was then that Daryl realized where he was and what was happening. 

He wasn't outside following Aaron around just so he could kiss him again. He was inside sleeping on the couch, still fully clothed and apparently Rick had decided to wake him up. 

Fuck. 

"What?" He snapped, his voice coming out more irritated than he had intended. Rick's eyebrows raised at the tone even as his eyes assessed him. Daryl hated that Rick could read him better than most others. 

"Good mornin' to you too, sunshine," Rick joked.

Daryl growled in response, shooting him the finger half-heartedly. Rick chuckled as Daryl pulled himself into a sitting position, the palms of his hands rubbing at his sleep-heavy eyes. 

"Time's it?" 

"Eight. Which means you overslept. Some of the others were worried when they didn't see you this morning so I came to check up on you. It's not like you to sleep so late. You alright?" Rick propped himself on the arm of the couch and stared down at Daryl with worry. 

"Is it really eight? Fuck. I didn't sleep very well," he admitted. 

"Wanna talk about it?" Rick offered. 

Daryl snorted as he wiped at his face. He needed a shower and he needed to find something to do. He needed to stay occupied while he tried to sort this shit out in his head. 

"Nothin' to talk about," Daryl replied. "Just overslept is all. Didn't know it was a crime these days, Grimes." 

"It is if you're Daryl Dixon," Rick said with a smile. 

Daryl scowled in response. "And what's that supposed to mean?" 

"Hey, take it easy," Rick soothed. "I just wanted to check on you and make sure you were alright. It's not like you to change up like that." 

For reasons he didn't fully comprehend - or maybe didn't  _want_ to comprehend, Daryl bristled at that comment. He stood up from the couch and Rick mirrored his movements. 

"It ain't like me, huh? Well, what the hell do you think you actually  _know_ about me, Rick?" 

Rick's mouth dropped slightly and he simply stared at Daryl as if he had never seen the man before. Daryl wasn't even mad with Rick, but he couldn't find it in himself to apologize for his words. Not when he was still in such a fragile sense of mind from yesterday. The day he had kissed another  _man._

Now he was supposed to just carry on his day like nothing had happened? Like his whole world hadn't changed? Yeah, right. So what if he had slept late for once? Was that even a crime? What if he wanted to change things up a bit? Maybe he didn't want to do everything the same old way anymore. It wasn't like he had to remain the same for the rest of his life.

It wasn't even a big deal.

It was just a kiss.

Except it wasn't  _just_ a kiss and Daryl was a fool for pretending it was. 

Maybe it was a revelation...a new beginning. 

Maybe he was fucked. 

 

 

 


End file.
